EJR
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i had to dump this somewhere. Sometimes I like to write out my personal problems and later delete them in a notepad document or something. I feel like I kind of need the advice now so feel free to leave some if you want. It's appreciated.
How does a person become good at talking about things? Or how do people find out just what to say on the spot? Something I've observed recently is during a conversation someone will randomly spew a joke and if it's good more people will throw something in. I've never been able to do that
Without any sippy sappy stuff I'll go out and say I'm pretty boring to talk to and I'm generally unfunny. I will sometimes have my little quips and funny puns here and there but overall anyone would rather go talk to someone else than me if they had the choice. That mainly applies IRL but also here I guess.
Anyway, up until last year I was very anti social and had no particular group of friends to hang out with. Eventually I got close with one group and have enjoyed myself since, but I'm feeling incredibly distant from all of them now. Maybe it's because I can't start up meaningful conversations or they just know that I have a boring personality and have given up on me. I'm finding it really hard to make new friends (i.e. this girl i like in my art class) because any conversations we have go no where and the one time I had the perfectchance to have a meaningful conversation with her to get to know her we ended up being silent for a whole class period. Since then she hasn't said a word to me.
But this isn't a post about her. I've read in some thread a post made by Luis where he stated that watching people talking would be helpful in a situation such as mine, but that hasn't helped. I've learned recently that my conversation skills aren't nearly as bad as I thought, as I could always hold a good conversation with people if I need to, but I just can't lift one off the ground. I can't think of anything interesting to talk about.
Would 1 or several comedy series help me? Would a multiple stand up special marathon help? If so, who should I watch?
UGH I DONT KNOW @@@@@@@@@
I'm not depressed. Just at a high point of sadness.
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12/9/12
I got what I needed. I feel ashamed having this post up.
Heh.
12/7/12
~(¬u¬)~ hey seXXXi
ay
12/7/12
FUCK
12/7/12
¬¬¬
12/6/12
EJR did Newgrounds effect ur life alot?
Yeah.
12/5/12
Yes you should take what we all suggest with a pinch of salt because ultimately we're all different people and as such we all react differently to things. As the saying goes; "Different strokes for different folks"
HOWEVER, I still will not have you call yourself boring, because I'm sorry EJR, you're just wrong there :(
YEA I GUESS....................
12/5/12
although I don't think you should take of your clothes like in the middle of the song.
maybe you should though if you have a smoking bod.
I don't have a smoking bod so I guess I won't take off my clothes
12/5/12
hey ejr. remember when I told you yo have to walk like a thug
well, I found the perfect example of a thug walk. The music is P. amazing to.
just remember you have to walk like this at all time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwPORIBUm30
This is perfect
12/5/12
I should add that you should take everyone's advice with a grain of salt, even my own. It's up to you to decide how to fix your own problems, no one can relate completely, because they aren't you. And so they can't tell you exactly what you need to do.
PS - I hope you don't mind that I'm using that doodle you did of me on like, every website in existence :D
Which doodle did I do? I forgot.
12/5/12
fart in front of them.
farts are funny.
Good advice
12/4/12
You're a lot like me in the sense that I'm not a great person to conversate with on the spot, at least not with most people. I was always the person in highschool who would listen to what everyone else is saying, and then maybe throw in my 2 cents but not too often. I wasn't quiet enough to be the cool silent guy that rarely talked, but I was still easy to talk over and become background noise.
I don't see how watching comedy series would help to be honest, or even just listening to other people talk. What you may need to do is just talk to people that say things that interest you, and then it shouldn't be a problem if it's natural. Getting comfortable around people also helps. You like the girl? Dude, it's gonna be tough to articulate yourself, even if she's really interesting to you. I've been in that situation. And in all honesty you're probably not going to be able to talk to her until you've become more relaxed around her. A lot easier said than done.
Remember Google+? I didn't talk at all at first, but you guys were welcoming and interesting to me. And although I would still stay quiet sometimes, when the right people were around I just naturally let myself into the conversation. Heck, I always thought you were more talkative then I was :P
You should do a Jay Plays with me, that might help xP
It isn't even that I'm not relaxed around her. I just think she is genuinely indifferent toward me for whatever reason and I haven't been able to figure out why. Like she shows no signs of even wanting to be friends with me. It's really upsetting. Not even friendzoned :-S
Thx tho
Heck yeah I'll do a Jay Plays with you
12/3/12
Seems like a lacking of self-confidence EJR.
I'm not sure if this has happened to you before, but have you ever been in a situation in which you tried to actually start a meaningful conversation to only come off as extremely akward?
Either way, I face the same problems, but I have pretty much grown out of it to the extent of I no longer give a fuck what people think and I just have a good time.
I also recently had the problem of feeling left out.
Emmanuel, try to just reference a bunch of pop culture shit... i.e. ask someone if they've seen a movie that you know well (anchorman or any will ferell movie is really good for this) then just quote that with them and shit.
>I'm not sure if this has happened to you before, but have you ever been in a situation in which you tried to actually start a meaningful conversation to only come off as extremely akward?
Every conversation I've ever been in.
Yea I feel that though Trravis. I used to live thinking "just be that cool, quiet, and chill guy everyone knows". Now I go by "do whatever I feel like doing and screw what everyone else thinks." It's sort of been working out.
Thx.
12/3/12
I agree with everything that Gagsy said, being social just ties in with confidence, if you don't like being that guy that is in the corner doodling or what have you, just stop believing you are that person and just wing some shit.
Tru, tru.
12/3/12
'I'm pretty boring to talk to and I'm generally unfunny'
'I have a boring personality'
Stop that. Stop that now. Because that is your biggest downfall EJR - BELIEVING that. It is completely knocking your confidence. You cannot assume that what you think about yourself is how others see you. I know its hard because I'm always putting myself down too and avoiding social interaction irl but when the opportunity for conversation with people I like comes up, I take it. I just go for it. I'm quite lucky though where I can seemingly look at people and know what I need to say to get on their good sides to get them interested back in me because I feel I need to work to get anyone on my side.
What you think about yourself is really holding you back though. From what I've seen of you on here and stickam over the last four years you're not boring at all and you can be pretty damn funny, to the point where I think "damn I wish I said that". Yes irl and the internet are different. It is easier for the likes of me and you to be more open online, to just let it all hang out if we want to but like me you still stay true to yourself, to your personality. From what I know of you, you are still you online and people like you here so please don't think for a second that people irl can't like you too.
There is a reason you got in with that group of friends. They wouldn't hang out with you for no reason. So forget what you think is a boring personality and focus instead on remembering that people do like you and for good reason.
Good luck.
The other day there was an assembly for the seniors at my school, and I was able to sit with all my best friends and just hang out there together for the first time in like months. We had a lot of fun. I no longer felt super awkward around everyone. Over the past couple of days I've been able to hold my own in telling jokes and general group conversations. It's just one-on-one conversations that I'm bad at. Maybe I didn't realize that was the problem. I'm at my most awkward and nervous during one-on-ones in general. Somehow I'm good at talking to people in cars / busses though heh.
Thanks.
12/3/12
i like to do the very same thing that you stated in the very first sentence of this topic.
Also I used to be a funny guy and I could throw out a joke on the spot, but I kinda grew out of it. You shouldn't expect yourself to have to do that kind of stuff, yo.
I recommend you listen to rap music and act extremely thuggish around ppl.
I expect myself to do it because that's what makes all of my other friends likeable. :-(
my friends are white so they wouldn't get it.