There once was a man named Mal4President. He was a humble young gent from the US without a care in the world. Over the years, that care-free individual had been poisoned by the minds of children who influenced him to take drugs as a teen, even though he didn't want to. His attitude started to change, thus making him a sad sack. With his five o clock shadow and scruffy dark brown mullet hair he walked down the stairs of his worn down apartment, trying to hide the crusty mustard stains on his shirt. He heard a knock coming from his door.

"What the Hell do you want?" Mal4President asked.

"It is I, Fred, the hit Youtube celebrity who appeared on iCarly," responded the voice behind the door. Without thinking, Mal4President locked the door and hid behind the kitchen table, in fear, hoping Fred wouldnot rape his insides.

From the back door, appeared a shadowy figure. Musty, salty weat dripped from Mal4President's extremely large cranium. He was horrified.

"Come with me," said the shadowy figure. Mal4President stood up, quickly grabbed his shoes, and ran out the back.

"Who are you?" Mal4President asked.

The strange figure appeared as clear as daylight. His hair blew in the wind, his glasses sparkled with the blinding glare from the sun on his lenses, and his mouth grinned widely as he opened it to say, "Twilight."

BAM. BOOM. BISH. BASH. BANG. POW. Fred had smashed down the door and tore up everything in the apartment.

"Give me your hand, Mal4president!" Twilight said as he reached for Mal4President's hand. As Mal4President firmly grasped his partner's hand, a bright light shined. Mal4President felt a transformation. The sun shined directly on him blinding anyone who looked his way.

"It's...it's... magnificent."

Mal4President had now appeared as a clean cut gentleman. His once precious mullet had become a short spiky do and his 5 o clock shadow was now gone. His clothing had changed as well. His crusty white shirt had now transformed into an olive green Newgrounds.com tank shirt. His light tan shorts had been changed to dark blue jeans. He was ready to fight under the new alias "Malachy."

Up above there's a tankcopter. Wade Fulp himself gazes down at the beauty of Malachy and hollers at Malachy from his megaphone, "WOULD YOU LIKE TO BECOME A NEWGROUNDS.COM MODERATOR TO FIGHT OFF THE FORCES OF EVIL?"

Of course, Malachy said yes. He was equipped with a golden hammer, the most magnificent thing anyone has ever seen. Full of fury, Malachy ran inside his now crashing down apartment and swung heavily at the highly annoying Fred, from Youtube.

"End of the ball game," said Malachy, trying to hide the fact he had said such a ridiculous thing such as that. As he stepped outside, Malachy was approached by Wade Fulp and the president of the United States. Not only had Mal NOT become the president he had always hoped to be since a young lad, but he also had to face murder charges.

Moral of the Story: be my friend malachy